when we met i didn't feel i knew you at all
sitting on the lawn with your baby in your lap like a cream and peach madonna
then you read my books and everything changed
you fed my baby and played paddy cake with him
you brushed my girl's tangles
and cleaned a dead possum out of my shed
you even nursed me when my eye tore in half
so what happened?
i said the wrong thing one day
and apologized a few days later
you were telling me about great sex with your new love
and every part of me hurt too much to listen
i just said that one thing
but it never really is just one thing, is it?
when i myself have shut down
it's usually after a whole series of affronts
conscious or unconscious
is that what you felt?
i should ask this to your face
but just like your facebook status of engaged to that same love
i post it instead
we only communicate through these strange machines
and just like when we first did meet
we one another do not see
at all
at all
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i love your honesty. that's one of the many reasons i loved reading wood nymph seeks centaur and guarding the moon. you make me feel like it's okay to fuck up sometimes.
ReplyDeletei know how this feels, the loss of a friend. sometimes a friendship can be salvaged by a romantic gesture, the way one would try to win back a love.
ReplyDeletegood luck expressing your love to your friend.
hmmm did i fuck up?
ReplyDeleteoh, the ache & abruptness of some friendships ending!
ReplyDelete"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
ReplyDelete~F. Scott Fitzgerald
i didn't mean fuck up in a bad way.. i just meant when things go wrong, its okay. i wasn't trying to attack you, i love you. just that.. you make me feel okay to act human, like i don't have to be perfectly perfect all the time.
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ReplyDeletethanks, love to you, too xo
ReplyDelete