Friday, October 21, 2011

what it feels like

you asked me what it feels like
my head on your shoulder warm silk water tumbling over muscle rocks dense and smooth and soft
my arms around your neck you lift me up like i weigh nothing even though sometimes i feel so heavy and huge after dinner and your neck tenses with sinew but your head seems vulnerable shaved and your skull has a delicacy about it that warns my hands away
i squat naked on the floor to start the music with the smolder between my lips like a woman who has never once doubted anything about her body
relax my throat and open my mouth so wide that i take in almost all of you and i wonder if there is any woman who could take in all of you there is so much of you in time to the chanting music as the candle flames shake with longing
but when you are inside of me it feels like width and breadth and fire and tiger and lion and power and dread and love
--that exists somewhere in time and space dancing with a woman in a dress plunging to her smooth flat belly violet eyelids and black hair brushing the hollow of her back where you hands steer--
but was never really here
with me

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

torn red dress

You’re dead and the bruise on my fingernail still hasn’t grown out
The one I got when the weight crushed it
In the gym where you used to stand with tour hands in your pockets
Hiding the scars on your legs
Muscles diminishing but we didn’t really notice
Or how lonely you were
Or that there were tumors inside of you

I was being fucked the morning you died
By someone twice as tall
And even younger than you
And I’m ashamed I was cold
Because you rejected me for a twenty year old
When it would never have worked between us anyway
Now you are fading like the bruise on my thumb
While the man who called me baby doesn’t respond
And love, that trickster
Sits in the rain
Laughing in her torn red dress