Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Dream House

I had to give up a father, a mother, four dogs, two fetuses, much of my sight, a marriage, many lovers
I had to give up you once already without even a real good bye only an email unanswered (though I understand this) and the misted memory of you running off into the night in your huge black boots, your voice on the phone fading even before we hung up
Sometimes I would see a face like yours, with hard planes and soft places, or remember an idea you gave me as easily as if you’d picked it from the lemon tree in my yard but mostly I just thought, He’s gone like all the rest
So I locked the doors of my little yellow house with the mermaid bathroom and the roses and the pond and kissed my children goodnight, made them breakfast, swept the floors
Maybe I came to you at night sometimes barefoot only in a white t-shirt, my legs not even properly shaven, my hair a mess, no makeup, sitting cross legged at the foot of your bed to watch you sleep
Never touching you or saying a word
Maybe you felt me at the periphery of your dreams
Forming pictures in your mind
Of the two of us running hand in hand through a decimated world
While our foot prints spring with lilies
Now I may have to say goodbye to the yellow house
One more thing on the list of farewells
But I still hold my children in my arms
and this time when I visited you in your dreams
You knew

8 comments:

  1. *hugs and comfort* I know how much you loved that house. But I have faith that you will bloom wherever you may end up next, and will keep spreading the beauty you find there to the world. <3

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  2. Stunning! Your poetry speaks legends to me!

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  3. so very beautiful thank you for your words francesca they really lighten up my life even when things seem dark and gloomy god i dont know what i'd do without your poems

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  4. Replies
    1. Francesca, thank you for posting this. As always, I appreciate you sharing your beautiful words with us. I am thinking of you during this difficult time.

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  5. first of all YAY i found out how to leave comments in here. anyways i love every detail written in this poem it is beautiful and sad at the same time. the concept of beauty and sadness always been connected in poetry.It made me think of lots of things even my life which i have no idea were it is going
    sincerely
    Fallen

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  6. *hugs and love and support* Oh, Francesca...I'm so sorry you might have to say goodbye to your house. I wish my family could come and live with you and pay rent so you can keep your magical place. <3 But I know that no matter where your amazing family goes, you will always bring light and beauty and magic with you. And just by being who you are you bring light to everyone around you.

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  7. this is heartbreaking. we love you, have faith!

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