Saturday, September 8, 2012

#23




Changeling

i was forced to live in the hotel lobby
the carpet was scratchy, red and gold
wood-paneled walls and the smell of smoke and drinks
no place for a baby!

(i think i remember something else
something having to do with shallow water rushing
over stones? green daisies floating and a hillock
with a door? the smell of rain cupped in petals
music like the wind
playing her silver hair
someone i loved
someone who loved
me?)

but in that lobby
without rain or wind or any
thing you could call music
one lady fought revulsion
and took pity on me
big and pale with my bobble head
swollen, half blind eyes
and an old man's voice

she carried me upstairs
lay me on the bedspread and dressed me
then she fed me from a bottle
though i made her queasy

she knew she had to learn compassion
i'm that part of her she hates
ugly, weak, abandoned
severed from my illumined world
not loveable apparently

but someone has to do it




2 comments:

  1. Left

    Suddenly I had to do everything
    with my left hand
    like I was someone new
    to writing, not that the chicken scratch
    looked much different from normal
    and throwing a ball? Where do you step
    when you throw a ball wrong, er, left?

    I had to look out of the other
    side of my brain
    try to see color from violet to red
    read from right to left like Kanji
    that reminds me, do people on the other side
    of the world, who read in script not letters
    do they think I'm some kind of reverse human
    someone who hasn't flipped
    enough to see that the 21st century
    won't belong to some spangled banner
    but to those who can drown the past
    fill in three gorges like a bathtub

    it makes me wonder
    if my brain will adjust to the new vertical
    if I'll have to switch all the keys on the keyboard
    or just cross my hands
    turn the TV upside down
    whistle by breathing in
    watch a sunset with one eye closed

    maybe it won't be as hard as I imagined

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nevermind the raisins but my baby never enjoyed raspberries
    the older she got the more I wondered why she didn't like
    anything she had before
    on her fourth birthday, the number I hated,
    I watched her cut off all her hair
    and cry because she felt so wild

    oh changeling
    you're still mine
    oh changeling
    we can make this work, can't we?
    oh changeling,
    where has my other baby gone?

    You love to sing, and dance, and tell me stories
    I wonder if she would too
    You say there's nothing you can do
    you really hate school
    I wonder if she would too
    Do you ever talk to her
    tell her the secrets you know
    that she should too?

    oh changeling
    you're still mine
    oh changeling
    we can make this work, can't we?
    oh changeling,
    where has my other baby gone?

    ReplyDelete